BILOXI, MISS. – Livestreamers at Occupy the Bayou captured the gang rape of a wheelchair-bound child who was beaten for laughing at riot police. The autistic quadriplegic is now in intensive care at Biloxi Regional Medical Center, and no charges have been filed against the officers identified in the footage. Anonymous released the “d0x” of suspected officers, and they have been inundated with endless phone calls and pizza deliveries, weak justice for such a terrible offence.
In the footage, which is too graphic to post, the officers clearly did exactly what everyone on Twitter is saying. Behind a cloud of tear gas, the laughing retard child is kicked out of his wheelchair, beaten, tasered, stripped naked, and then raped repeatedly by a group of officers. The police then showered rubber bullets and beanbags on the livestreamers with complete indiscrimination, and Twitter rumors confirmed they confiscated and destroyed all cameras before similarly raping the rest of the Occupiers. A witness commented the child did not stop laughing and did not lose consciousness until paramedics administered sedatives.
Police Chief John Miller said to our field reporter in Biloxi that none of these wild accusations are true and then raped him repeatedly. “Rape jokes aren’t funny. It’s a real thing that happens commonly to all sorts of people, and you are empowering rapists by making these kinds of jokes,” said one naive radical feminist who was then gang-raped by the executives at Lebal Drocer, Industries. Frank Mason, faked-death shadow CEO, commented that the raping was “just no fun without a taser.”
HAILED BY YOUTH AND STUDENTS, AND FEARED BY HIS ENEMIES, RAGHUBIR GOYAL FOUGHT MERCILESSLY FOR CONTROL OF CHRONICLE.SU
SOVCHRON – UPON HEARING THE NEWS THAT THE DEAR RESPECTED RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS AWARDED THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR, YOUTH AND STUDENTS IN THE ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY OF CHRONICLE.SU EXTEND THEIR HEARTFELT CONGRATULATIONS TO HIM.
IGOR SECIC, A STUDENT OF INGLIP UNIVERSITY, TOLD CHRONICLE.SU:
“IT WAS THANKS TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL, BRILLIANT COMMANDER OF MT. BOMBRAIN, THAT THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP COULD TURN INTO COURAGE THEIR BITTER GRIEF AT THE SUDDEN DEMISE OF GENERALISSIMO FRANKLIN D. MASON.”
RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS ALWAYS TOGETHER WITH FRANKLIN D. MASON IN GUIDING THE TRANSHUMANIST (RADICAL PROLIFERATION OF MACHINE OVERLORD) REVOLUTION AS HIS CLOSEST REVOLUTIONARY COMRADE-IN-ARMS.
IT WAS OUR UNANIMOUS DESIRE TO CONFER THE TITLE OF MANAGING EDITOR TO HIM TO WHOM ALL THE CHRONICLE READERSHIP ENTRUST THEIR DESTINY. IT IS ALSO OBLIGATION OF CHRONICLE STAFF TO HARNESS RAW HATRED OF READERSHIP OF ARMED PEOPLE’S REVOLUTIONARY WORKER’S PARTY WHO ARE DESCENDENTS OF INGLIP AND SOLDIERS AND DISCIPLES OF LEADER FRANKLIN D. MASON.
IVANA IBRAHIMOVIC, A STUDENT OF KILGORE T. UNIVERSITY OF AGRICULTURE, SAID:
IVANA: “RAGHUBIR GOYAL FILLS ME WITH LOVE. TERROR, AND LOVE.”
“WHEN SEEING RAGHUBIR GOYAL MAKING A CONGRATULATORY SPEECH AT THE MILITARY PARADE CELEBRATING THE CENTENARY OF THE BIRTH OF INGLIP, I COULD HARDLY REPRESS TEARS OF EMOTION. HIS IMAGE REMINDED US OF THE PRESIDENT IN MARSHAL’S UNIFORM STANDING ON THE PLATFORM OF SQUARE TO CELEBRATE THE INTERNET WAR VICTORY.
I WILL STUDY HARDER TO UPHOLD THE GUIDANCE OF MANAGING EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL WITH KNOWLEDGE.”
DENVER, COLO. — Americans were excited today about reports deep within the bowels of the Romney campaign that the former Massachusetts governor is ready to go after President Obama’s use of marawana and cocaine as a teenager.
“I mean, this is a guy who admitted to cocaine use,” says a Romney adviser to Buzzfeed, “had a sweetheart deal with his house in Chicago, and was associated and worked with Rod Blagojevich to get Valerie Jarrett appointed to the Senate,” adding, “The bottom line is there’ll be counterattacks.”
President Obama has made a point of discussing his own history of using cocaine, which he refers to by its crass street name of “blow;” as well as his inhaling the vapours of the ever-popular devil weed itself. His popular autobiography, “The Audacity of Hope,” whose sales are his primary source of income — second only to “cash money” reportedly obtained selling automatic firearms to Mexican drug cartels — is a book basically about how the 44th president of the United States loved using drugs. President Obama has met desperate, repeated online pleas he legalize recreational cannabis use with guffaws and denials that he would act to liberate from a kyriarchy the American people, now arbitrarily incarcerated at rates unrivaled in the developed world.
Despite many reports, including out of Forbes magazine, that Portugal’s drug legalization policy has decimated that country’s drug abuse, Gil Kerlikowski, head of the Office of National Drug Control Policy, has stated that legalization does not combat the ills of illicit drug use. And last month, before Congress, the head of the Drug Enforcement Agency, Michele Leonhart, reiterated her administration’s commitment to utter hysteria and lack of focus on a public health crisis.
Before finally admitting, after much pressure, that heroin was more addictive than cannabis, Ms. Leonhart first characterized the matter of whether heroin is worse for an individual’s health than cannabis as “subjective.” This admission followed deliberately dishonest exchanges with Democratic Representative Jared Polis of Colorado:
REPRESENTATIVE JARED POLIS (D-CO): Is crack [a street name for free-based cocaine – ed] worse for a person than marijuana?
MICHELE LEONHART: I believe all illegal drugs are bad.
REP. POLIS: Is methamphetamine worse for somebody’s health than marijuana?
MS. LEONHART: I don’t think any illegal drug is good for —
REP. POLIS: Is heroin worse for someone’s health than marijuana?
MS. LEONHART: Again, all [sic] the drugs, they are illegal.
The administration’s enforcement strategies square well with the Romney campaign’s assessment of the president pro-drug attitudes, the unmistakable products of hedonistic, if-it-feels-good-do-it ’60s culture. Meanwhile the deputy director of NORML, a shady druggie front group, longs for the good old days under President George Bush when Californian sludge distributors operating under the guise of “medical clinics” “helping people in pain” could operate with relative impunity, writing this week, “Many of California’s most prominent and well-respected medical cannabis dispensaries and related facilities — including Oaksterdam University, Berkeley Patients Group, and Harborside Health Center (HHC) — flourished under the George W. Bush administration. But they’ll be lucky to survive President Barack Obama’s first term.”
Medical health professionals consulted off-the-record by The Internet Chronicle speculate that President Obama’s laser obsession with his administration’s present drug enforcement strategies is likely the result of the delusion and vigor associated, they say, “unmistakably” with cocaine psychosis.
After bragging to high school students in December of 2007 about how cool drugs are, then Senator Obama became the focus of the popular prohibitionist scrutiny. Obama’s candor with students came on the heels of the leak of an audiotape of President George W. Bush citing a responsibility to America’s youth to prevaricate about his own drug use — not to protect his own career, of course, but to shield them from the enormous influence the president of the United States has had on American teenagers since the Founding Fathers.
Years ago the Romney campaign pounced on the opportunity to praise President Bush’s bold, private confession to smoking weed. Mr. Romney said then, “He said when he was young and irresponsible, he was young and irresponsible, and he left it at that. And I think that in order to leave the best possible example for our kids, we’re probably wisest not to talk about our own indiscretions in great detail.”
Mr. Romney’s strategy is “simple yet elegant,” says Political Science Professor Alan Abramowitz of Emory University, adding, “It allows the candidate to bask in the veneer of family values while remaining duplicitous about that bottle of Coca-Cola he is rumored to have enjoyed, covertly, while on missionary work in France on behalf of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”
