The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom.
The internet has taken control of our long-range nuclear missile silos. Richmond, VA readies itself for mandatory evacuation. Prepare for chaos.
Getting drunk and sitting at Facebook is the new way to party, and Elf Wax Times goes in-depth to find out why, and with whom we can score.