Igor Ivanov takes first place in Russian roulette semifinals, one dead

SIBERIA– Igor Ivanov took first place after his only surviving opponent took his own life during the hotly anticipated Siberian Open Russian Roulette Tourney ’14. The to-be annual championship is held at the prestigious abandoned number station south of Kayerkan Кайеркан. Event coordinators came up with the idea when desperate athletes, eager for drink and […]

George Bush To Retake US Presidency

A great leader once asked, “How’s that hopey, changey stuff workin’ out for ya?” America found her answer. Former President George W. Bush announced a plan Monday to “take America back,” starting with a campaign to reignite nationalism in the American people. “We’re gonna, you know, we’re gonna take America back,” Bush said, with a […]

Elf Wax columnist killed during protest rally

Elf Wax political columnist, campaign trail correspondent, and celebrated Communist Kirill Milosevic died violently Friday in a clash with police during a peace riot.