CIGARETTE ASH FOUND IN LOCAL DUDE’S BEER

RICHMOND, VA– A local dude became noticeably disgusted after taking a sip of beer that had been used as an ashtray. The Elf Wax Times has just received new footage of the incident. In the video, a young man can be seen displaying caveman-like characteristics before consuming a Pabst Blue Ribbon. After a rather large […]

LSD FOUND IN ROANOKE WATER SUPPLY, ALL WATER SHUT OFF

ROANOKE, VA–As a result of the recent findings of pharmaceutical drugs in tap water across the U.S., a local study in Roanoke, Virginia has found traces of lysergic acid diethylamide(LSD) in the community’s water supply. Experts say the water supply could’ve been “spiked” many years ago. Tragiluckily, police have taken necessary measures and shut off […]