Category: Society

Aww, look! They think they’re people!

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Uncontrollable Patriotism

#fuckyouwashington

That gray-haired fellow is absolutely right.

While I don’t agree with his decision to name people specifically (note: I don’t care who he actually named), I find it difficult to disagree with this man on all but one issue. The notion that politically-minded Americans willing to give campaign contributions to honest politicians will somehow outweigh the collective corporate dollar is, like Paul Jay suggested, Utopian. It’s just so far from realistic that we could give enough money to enough candidates to turn the tides against the forces that be (and cheat to exist).

It was so funny (creepy) to me when campaign people came by my house seeking campaign contributions on behalf of Obama, after it was already so clear that he had the best media team in the Presidential history. How is that? Lotsa fucken money, folks. More than all of us put together could ever have come up with in order to stop him.

And it’s a well-known fact of politics, as well as the main reason people hate and distrust Washington, that corporations have a lot of money they’re willing to spend on people they know will protect their interests – and there are sleazy assholes willing to betray their countrymen by accepting it (and still can somehow sleep at night). Well, it’s nice to see someone stating it so poignantly and my only hope is this kind of articulation becomes mainstream. How that will happen without “big media” – or without big media hijacking the movement is beyond the scope of my imagination.

Please, Gods of Reason. Rescue us all from this sea of shit, and get me off the boat of feces. Or, stand up and think for yourselves, America. But don’t look to me; for even as a man of peace, I see no peaceful resolution.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Hate Uncontrollable Patriotism

White House Demands Assange Assassination

Hillary Clinton

Washington, D.C. — Calls ring out of the White House for Julian Assange’s assassination following leaked documents penned by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton calling for investigations by every government agency into the online activities of Sabu, LulzSec afficionado, who she suspects to be connected with Hamas, Iran and known terrorist organizations.

Clinton threatened Assange Monday during a White House press conference by calling for his genitals.

“I want his balls,” Clinton said. “I want his dick. On my desk, I mean I want it severed and put on ice so I can ride it – I mean throw it from the window of a moving limousine. Assange is a threat to our freedoms and a menace on society.”
Already bounties are springing up around the planet for the renegade journalist and publisher.

Human Rights Watch advocates say they are concerned calls for Julian Assange’s head is a threat to global free speech but Rupert Murdoch, prominent free speaker, says otherwise.

Rupert Murdoch
Rupert Murdoch is insulted by the question.

In a symposium on the principles of ethical reporting, Murdoch said, “If he doesn’t like republishing the status quo, maybe he should consider another profession.” Murdoch’s deprecatory comments toward free thinkers were met with resounding applause throughout the Puckataw, Kansas ∞ Freedom Hate Humphrey Auditorium.

Bored with factual news and raw information, the American public have largely shown preference to conjecture and overtly emotional performances of total bias as an indicator of truth. William O'BrimleyIt is by this mechanism calls to assassinate and putting .png targets over political opponents’ faces has become an acceptable practice. The American People love their violence. Thank sweet baby Jesus it’s being applied to the nightly newscast.

Right-wing writer and free speech advocate Andrew Breitbart said in addition to Julian Assange, Clinton, Palin and others are enjoying their freedoms of speech as well.

“A jovial call to homicide is alright every once in a while, so long as it’s all in good fun. Nobody really takes that stuff seriously. Right?”

Gabby Giffords - Shot in the head
Sure.

The Chronicle.SU is in full support of the bounty on Julian Assange’s head and we are working systematically to bring him to US authorities. Contributions and our bounty are accepted via bitcoin:
18zJouAQAMzX5sJygZ4M2QV7yb8FzxSbdq

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Trolling Uncontrollable Patriotism

Hillary Clinton – trolled!

A recent pastebin hoax portending to be a leaked diplomatic cable from the office of Hillary Clinton, it seems, was actually written by me. This was discovered after a careful search through my browser history, as I was blackout drunk and high on one too many drugs at the time I wrote the pastebin.

S E C R E T STATE 047326

NOFORN
SIPDIS

E.O. 12958: DECL: 05/08/2034
TAGS: PINR IR
SUBJECT: (SBU)  LULZSEC AND ITS POSSIBLE RELATION TO HAMAS
AND THE IRANIAN GOVERNMENT(C-NE9-00993)

Classified By: SUZANNE MCCORMICK, DIR., INR/OPS.  REASON:  1.4(C).

¶1.  (C/NF)  WASHINGTON ANALYSTS ARE HIGHLY INTERESTED IN
REPORTS REGARDING IRANIAN GOVERNMENT'S PRESENCE IN CYBERSPACE.
ANTI-AMERICAN SLOGANS AND MESSAGES HAVE BEEN SPREAD WITH
THE AID OF ILLEGAL HACKING.  THESE ATTACKS ARE MOST LIKELY
A COOPERATIVE ACTION OF BOTH HAMAS AND THE IRANIAN GOVERNMENT.
ON 17 JULY 2011, THE SUN WAS HACKED BY LULZSEC AND A STORY WAS
PLACED WHICH THREATENED THE LIFE OF RUPERT MURDOCH. THIS IS A
TYPICAL LULZSEC ATTACK, TARGETING A MEDIA OUTLET.

¶A.  (C)  WHAT, IF ANY, TIES DOES THIS ATTACK HAVE TO IRANIAN
INTERESTS? WHAT ARE THEIR MOTIVATIONS FOR WEAKENING WESTERN MEDIA
OUTLETS LIKE PBS AND THE SUN?

¶B.  (C)  IN WHAT WAY IS SABU RELATED TO HAMAS? IS HE POSSIBLY
TIED TO MORE EXTREME GROUPS SUCH AS AL-QAEDA?

1)  (C)  WHAT KIND OF SUPPORT DOES SABU HAVE WITHIN ANONYMOUS
AND THE UNITED STATES?

2)  (C)  CAN SABU'S SUPPORTERS BE ACCESSED BY OUR INFILTRATORS IN
HAMAS AND AL-QAEDA, AND IF SO, HOW QUICKLY?

3)  (C)  HOW CAN ODYSSEY BE USED TO DAMPEN SUPPORT FOR LULZSEC?

¶C.  (C)  PLEASE CITE C-NE9-00993 IN THE SUBJECT LINE OF
REPORTING IN RESPONSE TO THE ABOVE QUESTIONS.
CLINTON

I must have drunkenly entered the mind of Hillary Clinton, because this hoax has received over 9,000 views on pastebin. It has also been republished in many other publications of high repute, as final proof of Barrett Brown’s paranoid theories. Until now, the Romas/COIN theories were based only on circumstantial evidence.

After further investigation of my internet history, it seems this whole hoax began with an extended masturbation session on /b/. After that, I spent about two hours reading through everything on WikiLeaks that had ever come from the Secretary of State. At the time I didn’t realize I was reading documents written by both Hillary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice, but they write in the exact same voice anyway. I studied every intricacy of Clinton and Rice’s authoritative writing style. I find it impossible to believe I did this without touching myself.

The only person who really picked up on this hoax was th3j35t3r, and he has since done his best to tie Sabu with Islamic terrorists. However, he hasn’t done half the job I did, and I did it only to mock those who would believe it. After all his practice, you think th3j35t3r would have learned how to troll by now.

You’ve been trolled so hard, Hillary Clinton.