Extremely Serious Message to Anonymous

For the past year, Anonymous has treated me like a rambling lunatic. It’s understandable because they’ve totally lost their sense of humor and I write for a comedy web site which constantly pokes fun at them. They think, “Oh he’s just another anti-Anonymous troll,” but any loyal readers here know I get kicks out of being pretty much anti-anything.

By Anonymous, I have been called a troll, a butthurt namefag, or even a fed. By others, I am attacked for being a member of Anonymous. Andrew Breitbart chastised me for my “menacing” Anonymous persona. The Jester doxed me and then a supporter of his took down this web site with a malicious DDoS attack all on the ridiculous pretext that I’m some kind of an Anon.

I’m not on any side, but as soon as I open my mouth, I am invariably pigeonholed as either a malicious hacker or a crazed anti-Anonymous conservative republican, and that’s fucking stupid.

Really, I am just some guy at a keyboard doing my best to make sure the keystrokes make it to your monitor. For once, I have an Extremely Serious Message to Anonymous.

“Ignore the trolls” is possibly the worst advice ever. It’s tantamount to saying ignore anything upsetting. For a group so obsessed with truth, Anonymous is wearing some pretty massive blinders. Don’t ignore people with criticism, and don’t ignore the way the media portrays you. An Anon who pays attention to only the citizen media pro-Anonymous circle-jerk is just as misinformed and disinformed as any Tea Party Fox News Rush Limbaugh Dittohead!

Right now, you might think I’m joking. You might think I’m trolling. “Oh that Kilgoar, we’ve known he’s a troll all along.” NO! I mean this, and I mean it so hard I hope it shatters your fucking skull!

I’m dead fucking serious.

This article isn’t about “I told you so,” or even “Look at me, look how smart I am!” I’m not going to tell you how wrong Barrett Brown was, or laugh about how he has to rewrite his whole book. Yes, I did my best to subtly sow mistrust of Sabu from the very moment Topiary went down. Yes, I called Sabu an agent provocateur when the Stratfor hack went down. Yes, I warned everyone that Presstorm was stupid and shouldn’t be trusted. Each and every time Anonymous cried out loudly in response, “Troll!”

THAT’S what this is about. I just want you, Anonymous, to learn to pay attention to trolls. You want to know the truth, right?

PAY ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING TROLLS.

If you want as close of an approximation of the TRUTH as ANYONE can get, computer hacking ISN’T the answer. At least 99.9% of evil corruption takes place without the use of e-mails!

“Believe everything, but don’t believe just anything.”

This is the secret to approximating truth, compartmentalized into a single sentence and lacking all the really cool poststructural/postmodern theories about the nature of meaning and some other junk.

You might say, “Approximate the truth? What do you mean ‘approximate?’ This is Anonymous, and we’re going to unveil that bitch once and for all!”

Foolish! Ridiculous! Absurd! NAIVE!

Does this make you ANGRY?? Does it sound like some mystical bullshit?? Am I still trolling you??

For those of you who aren’t convinced how DEADLY SERIOUS I am and think this is all a sick joke, well don’t go reading any quantum physics, or you might get a brain aneurysm. For the rest of you out there, I really hope you have second thoughts the next time you DISMISS SOMEONE WITHOUT THOUGHT, JUST BECAUSE WHAT THEY SAY UPSETS YOUR PRECIOUS FRAGILE CULT-LIKE DYSTOPIAN ANARCHIC TECHNOFETISHISTIC WORLDVIEW.

This mind rape brought to you by the guy who’s been right about all the shitty leaders in Anonymous who don’t even exist, but are working with the FBI anyway to entrap as many of you cultist dupes as possible. Also mad ups to the Hydra, which grows new heads all the time but was nonetheless slain valiantly by Hercules as a part of his 12-step program. Also ideas: You can’t arrest them.

 

Sabu: Fall From Grace

[10:16:53 PM] Frank Mason:

The biggest named hacker in the world right now used to endorse chronicle.su until we found out he’s working for the FBI. Then he decided he hates us. He wrote nasty stuff about us. Nobody believed us when we warned them he’s working with the government. About three days ago, news hit that Sabu is the biggest snitch in online criminal history, revealing that Hector Xavier Monsegur, his true identity, has been working from within FBI offices since early August of last year.
We were right, before anyone else was.

How I got close to Sabu [and sniffed him out]

I was close friends with Sabu and he had not yet learned to distrust the lethal journo-satirist combo that I turned out to be, so our friendship began something like this:

2011-07-26 @ANONYMOUSABU

July 5, 2011 3:45 p.m. EST
I often lurk as Gacy but changed my name so Sabu could identify me.

Gacy: Hey Sabu
Sabu: hi
Hatefiend: I write for Chronicle.SU
Hatefiend: I don’t want to see you put away. The A-team bullshit, though.
Sabu: theres no need to worry mate, I’m nto being out away
Sabu: all that dox and info is failed/incorrect/or disinfo
Sabu: btw thanks for those articles they’ve been great :)
Hatefiend: That’s a relief, like you don’t even know.
Hatefiend: And thank you, it’s a huge compliment coming from you.
Sabu: no problem
Sabu: if theres anything I can do to help Chronicle.SU by all means take advantage now mate
Sabu: cause at this point hal of the worlds agencies are after me
Sabu: dont be surprised if you see interpol.int warrants on me
Sabu: half*
Sabu: haha
Sabu: I feel like I’m sounded a bit overzealous but sadly its the truth
Sabu: .win 285
Hatefiend: You gave me hope where there was none before.
Sabu: thanks mate. and you’re giving me more motivation
Hatefiend: If people carry this trend forward, then you’ll always live on. I hope you have a good-looking face, because I am afraid it’s only a matter of time before it becomes associated with the movement.
Sabu: indeed. I’m handsome methinks don’t worry about that. I’ll make sure to stash a top hat in my house in case I am raided
Sabu: and if media is there
Sabu: I’ll come out with class
Sabu: :D
Hatefiend: What could you possibly do for the Chronicle.SU?
Sabu: not sure, wear a chronicle.su shirt while I get raided?
Sabu: so its all over the news
Sabu: and all you see is CHRONICLE.SU and my handsome ass in a tophat and a pair of boxers
Sabu: I’ll be put into a fucking mental asylum honestly
Hatefiend: lol’d
Sabu: not sure man just let me know if there is anything I can do
Hatefiend: I remember back when you guys were taking hack requests, I had a really good one in mind but now I can’t remember it.
Hatefiend: Maybe we could do an interview soon?
Hatefiend: Like, about your daily life
Hatefiend: who you respect
Hatefiend: stuff like that
Hatefiend: The guy who makes our t-shirts said he’d try to work something out with you.

Tyler Bass of chronicle.su obtained the world’s very first interview with LulzSec.

LulzSec uniquely inspired many creative individuals, such as ourselves, to tap into our roots and what makes us laugh. It was all about the lulz.

SABU-KICKER
This is a kicker image used to introduce an article. Hugo Carvalho was incorrectly identified as Sabu July 13, 2011. Click the picture for the relevant, but incorrect story.

July 27, 2011

Topiary of LulzSec fame is one of the first people to take the fall under sabu’s tyranny. If you know the whole story, you might think it’s a bit early in the game to make that call, but perhaps you forgot you’re reading the fucking chronicle.su and need to be reminded that not only are we funny, lovable guys, but we’re also way smarter than you.

Sabu happily accepted any conspiracy theory regarding Topiary I could invent on his behalf, as he deflected accusations of his own:

July 26, 2011 4:42 a.m. EST

Hatefiend: how ya been man
Sabu: I’ve been good mate
Sabu: and you?
Hatefiend: recovering from a collapsed lung.
Hatefiend: it might’ve recollapsed tonight. I’m gonna wait it out
Sabu: you serious man?
Sabu: I’m sorry to hear that
Hatefiend: yep. this is old brutus btw. thanks broseph
Sabu: I hope you recover soon
Hatefiend: i appreciate it
Sabu: you sounded good on the radio wtf you’re a pro
Hatefiend: me too
Hatefiend: thanks, but I pause quite a bit for a “pro”
Sabu: haha
Sabu: been reading the site. you guys are doing great
Sabu: honestly you’re literally something we need for #voice project
Hatefiend: well we’re just doing what we do, man.
Hatefiend: I appreciate your compliments
Sabu: ;)
Hatefiend: that drunk bitch in washington, melissa hopkins, actually thought my interview with topiary was real
Hatefiend: asking why it didn’t go mainstream
Sabu: ROFL
Sabu: I know man
Sabu: people are slow
Sabu: I had literally
Sabu: like
Sabu: 20 tweets and 50 messages here
Sabu: OMFG IS IT TRUE
Sabu: no..
Hatefiend: looool
Hatefiend: that’s great
Sabu: I should have said yes
Hatefiend: it couldn’t hurt, dude. he’s been quiet from his personal account so it would’ve fit the conspiracy
Hatefiend: well shit I am gonna probably actually go to the hospital and get a chest x-ray now. It’s getting painful
Sabu: ok brother
Sabu: good luck and becareful
Sabu: let me know how it goes when you get back
Hatefiend: thanks. i keeps it real. catch you later man. I’ll be in touch

July 26, 2011

Sabu loves chronicle.su - as long as we're preaching the party line
Sabu loved chronicle.su – as long as we echoed the party line he and the feds were preaching.

I spoke some meaningful words on behalf of our dear friend, Topiary:

[audio:http://chronicle.su/Vince%20in%20the%20Bay%20-%20Topiary%20Arrested.mp3|titles=Vince in the Bay – Topiary Arrested]

Sabu’s Twitter account fell silent for about one week while the feds processed him. As high profile as his disappearance was, rumors indicating Sabu had been caught with his pants down were readily dispelled with a lie about some dead grandmother of his who never existed.

[10:22:37 PM] Frank Mason:

He started offering sums of money to people out of nowhere, to hack this system, or that one.

6:17:22 PM virus: he gave me IPs, asked me to access their accounts with their IP and asked me to access their emails
6:17:25 PM virus: told me he would pay me
6:17:42 PM Sam Biddle: did you?
6:17:53 PM virus: no, I found that to be suspicious and declined

[10:23:06 PM] Frank Mason:

I joined him in IRC for a private chat, and his attitude toward me had shifted. I soon found myself perched safely on the outside of Sabu’s circle of trust. Because chronicle.su didn’t play the game Sabu wanted us to play, he disregarded all my further efforts to reach him.

Sabu’s attitude toward me shifted further as I began pressing him for details as to why he sucked my best buddy Topiary back into LulzSec after he knew the feds had a fix on him – but not before he publicly dodged my public line of questioning altogether:

[10:24:03 PM] Frank Mason:

Little did I know Sabu had already been at Kilgore Trout’s throat because Trout had just revealed Sabu’s role as a government informant:

Sabu butthurt
I don’t see why he was so mad. Nobody believed us anyway.

[10:24:50 PM] Frank Mason:

Topiary was a good writer, and friend to chronicle.su. Better than Sabu. Sabu destroyed that young boy’s life, who was only out to have a bit of fun. When shit got heavy, Jake Davis stepped out because all Jake wanted to do was write satire and fuck with Murdoch, and play XBOX and read his science fiction. He didn’t want to be involved in this shit but Sabu lured him back in like a trapdoor spider, knowing full well the gravity of Topiary’s (Jake’s) situation, because Sabu was working for the feds. Jake is scheduled to enter his plea May 11.

As recently as last month, Sabu the Snitch [inappropriately] hung another, even younger boy, Charrie Wongz, out to dry:

Fill this out

“You got rats amongst ya,” part of a John Tiessen rantshow

You got rats amongst ya, man
You lost all credibility
Once ya have a rat in you, amongst you – the people even associating with the rats – they get whacked, they go down.
That’s how ya deal with rats, you don’t have nothing to do with ‘em.
You go into a place and there’s rats in there, you get out of there. There’s rats in there.
You’re getting played by the fucking government. Writing programs and doing things for them to go into Egypt. You’re being played. They’re playing you. You say you’re playing the government, you’re being played. They’re so fucking far over your heads you don’t know what the fuck’s going on. You got people helpin’ ya, givin you little programs. Here, have this, it’ll protect your IP address. Credibility is out. It’s done.

STRATFOR HACK A FALSE FLAG!

SABU was working with the FBI when Stratfor was hacked

Sabu, leader of both AntiSec and LulzSec, was actually working with the FBI during the Christmas hack of STRATFOR, and the entire meaning of this event has come into question. Is it possible that what has become the biggest story for WikiLeaks in several months was actually planned by the FBI from the outset? Analysts suggest that yes, this entire leak was designed from the ground up by the FBI to discredit the hacktivism movement. In fact, the bizarre and uncharacteristic move by Anonymous to work with WikiLeaks was the first sign something was not right.

Experts have all agreed that Stratfor is actually not a well-connected intelligence agency, but instead a bumbling assortment of analysts who are mostly amateurs. Many of the outlandish statements made by amateurs at Stratfor have been blown out of proportion and taken out of context. This is exactly what law enforcement wants, because it discredits Anonymous, WikiLeaks, and most importantly Julian Assange.

In related news, Barrett Brown’s apartment was raided, but he was not arrested. This can only mean that Barrett Brown is most likely working with the FBI as well.

AnonymousIRC’s “Rush Limbaugh” Moment

AnonymousIRC's Rush Limbaugh Moment

Friday, the @AnonymousIRC Twitter account made an uncalled for and wholly sexist attack against @RevMagdalen, a church leader who has faced religious persecution. Reverend Magdalen’s feed has often featured opinions about the manifold dangers created by Occupy and Anonymous, as well as educational material on related subjects.

This disrespectful and frankly sexist attack against Reverend Magdalen is exactly the same as what Rush Limbaugh did to Sandra Fluke. Both Rush Limbaugh and AnonymousIRC found themselves threatened by a woman of greater intellect and resorted to sexist remarks. Limbaugh did use coarser language, but the message was the same: You are a sexual object and nothing more, now be quiet while the boys talk about important stuff. AnonymousIRC could not be bothered to apologize to Reverend Magdalen, so in that way he is actually worse than Limbaugh.

Among such “radical activists” as Anonymous, this kind of sexism should have no place. No voices within “Anonymiss,” a bitterly repressed class of the Anonymous collective, have spoken up to support Reverend Magdalen. Anonymiss is too busy entertaining their superiors by posing naked with Guy Fawkes masks and putting sharpies in their anus. The demand for increasingly demeaning pictures of Anonymous-supporting women is a hallmark of the Anonymous culture, and in this light the demands of AnonymousIRC become even more clear.

Reverend Magdalen is a lot more than just stupid tweets. AnonymousIRC isn’t.

FBI call intercepted by #Antisec Anonymous

[audio:http://www.chronicle.su/call.mp3|titles=FBI call intercepted by Anonymous]

Anonymous released a recording of what is said to be an international conference call purportedly taking place between several FBI agents. During the call, the men discuss cases against Jake Davis (Topiary) and Ryan Cleary, who appeared in court January 27. The voices claimed to have a “USAF” report on Cleary’s harddrive over 300 pages long, “not including notes on his file.”

Additionally, they discussed @TehWongz whose complicity the federal agents agree is favorable, and appears to have pissed off Sabu.

Finally, the men discuss the upcoming arrests of other Anonymous actors such as Kayla and T Flow, using pointed language like, “Do you have a charge against him yet?”

The audio file was confirmed authentic by the FBI. But that does not necessarily mean the audio was not recorded and leaked by them, through anonymous channels. It sounds like a great propaganda fear piece designed by skiddies, for skiddies.

Topiary will enter his plea May 11th.

Link to the audio file:

http://t.co/MxquYyv9

Link to relevant pastebin:

http://pastebin.com/8G4jLha8


Representative Dan Gordon rejoins anonymous, gets trolled off tinychat

a robotic voice booms:

you don't really join anonymous. we are not an organization.
you can only associate yourself with them.

He kept pretending not to hear what I was asking, “Representative Dan Gordon, I recall you claiming to have joined Anonymous, what ever happened with that?”

“HOW DO YOU JOIN ANONYMOUS” he shouted with turgid eyes, desperately searching for the way out (or in?).

He made excuse that needed to reboot and never came back, surrendering the channel to chronicle.su

——————–

tylerbass: hey
[12:45 AM] tylerbass: damned interwebs
[12:45 AM] terribleauthor: he’s pretending like he can’t hear this
[12:45 AM] hotspace: rep did you join anonymous is the question
[12:46 AM] terribleauthor: LOL REBOOT
[12:46 AM] tylerbass: that’s up with us getting too close, danRep. Dan Gordon joins Anonymous [12:46 AM] terribleauthor: that’s the question
[12:46 AM] tylerbass: TOO CLOSE
[12:46 AM] terribleauthor: you said you joined
[12:46 AM] guest-300397 entered the room.
[12:46 AM] tylerbass: hahaha
[12:46 AM] terribleauthor: you were like “yeah I am joining anonymous” when I asked you before
[12:46 AM] mssamanthamarie: we are all anonymous remember
[12:46 AM] jblb91: he probably did that answer was pretty conspicuous lmao
[12:46 AM] guest-300397 changed nickname to 14
[12:46 AM] hotspace: too funny
[12:46 AM] weareuhnonymous left the room.
[12:46 AM] guest-300274 left the room.
[12:46 AM] wearuhnonymous: its not so much a group as its an idea
[12:46 AM] tylerbass: it’s like the mob, man. one way in. no way out.
[12:47 AM] hotspace left the room.
[12:47 AM] 14 left the room.
[12:47 AM] repdangordon left the room.
[12:47 AM] guest-300424 entered the room.
[12:47 AM] mssamanthamarie: lol tyler
[12:47 AM] tylerbass: i’ve learned a lot today
[12:47 AM] tylerbass: about liberty, freedom
[12:47 AM] jblb91: why he live
[12:47 AM] jblb91: leave lol
[12:48 AM] terribleauthor: HE REBOOTED LOL
[12:48 AM] jblb91: ohhh ok
[12:48 AM] tylerbass: that was wrong
[12:48 AM] uhhnonymous: welp im off nigs
[12:48 AM] tylerbass: FLYNN!
[12:48 AM] mssamanthamarie: tty guys later :)
[12:48 AM] uhhnonymous: Lol i like the dude
[12:49 AM] terribleauthor: I have strangely mixed feelings about him
[12:49 AM] mssamanthamarie left the room.
[12:49 AM] uhhnonymous: i was just saying you don’t join anonymous, its more of associating with them
[12:49 AM] terribleauthor: we might have a child molester writing for chronicle.su
[12:49 AM] terribleauthor: yeah it was giving me the lols
[12:49 AM] uhhnonymous: what makes you say that? lo
[12:49 AM] uhhnonymous: l
[12:50 AM] terribleauthor: there was total confusion, and then that robotic voice spouting canned phrases about anony
[12:50 AM] uhhnonymous: lol
[12:50 AM] guest-300424 left the room.
[12:51 AM] terribleauthor: trolle

Julian Assange weighs in as Anonymous lashes out at leadership within U.S. Department of Justice

Anonymous has long been “infiltrated” by the Department of Homeland Security, whose job it is to instigate irrational, retaliatory actions within the Anonymous collective; however, the cyberwar took a giant leap forward Friday during #OPMegaUpload when Anonymous attacked the Department of Justice website, turning on what many believe to be its own leadership. Also amid the attacks are Universal Music, who once encouraged the very same file sharing tactics they now wish to charge people with using.

The root of Friday night’s story is the person(s) in control of the LOIC botnet effectively betrayed all politically active anons involved in deliberations and general IRC channels, handing their identities directly over to the federal government. In a long campaign against online anonymity, attacking the Department of Justice website “as a means of protest” is a strategic political move (on behalf of the United States Government) which appears on the surface to protest SOPA while in fact falling in line with larger plan to constrict freedom of the Internet on the whole.

When Rolling Stone magazine questioned Julian Assange about Anonymous, possibly his largest group of supporters, he said,We were involved with Anonymous from 2008. They were providing us with material related to our investigations into abuses by the Church of Scientology. It was a young pranksterish Internet culture, not something at all to be taken seriously.”

How a conspiracy theory became reality

Among anons, the rationale is as follows: (1) a major part of the collective implicates you in a LOIC attack on the DoJ website using malicious software inadvertently downloaded by a relatively large group of anons who were, unfortunately, tricked into visiting an unsafe web address address, automatically linking them into the botnet. (2) The botnet strikes, leaving your IP address on the long list of attackers involved, which, (3) signals your involvement with anonymous collectives to the authorities who simply go down the list subpoenaing the corresponding ISPs for later prosecution “at-will.”

In almost all previous cases – the LOIC attacks on PayPal and Mastercard, for example – your identity was handed over for prosecution to authorities if you were in the top 1,000 participants of the DDoS attack on their website, since government resources are not unlimited. But in this case, the identities of anons were handed directly to the government, logged by government machines for safekeeping and a few thousand anons’ names just got added to an already long list of domestic surveillance subjects. Worse yet, these are innocent bystanders who did not volunteer to participate in a DDoS attack, but were implemented anyway.

You hear that? Shh. They’re listening in now. On you, this time.

Julian Assange is waiting for the freedom to operate which may never come back in his lifetime, because “In relation to the United States, we’ll have to wait for the revolution.” Inside Anonymous, an all-too familiar feeling is sinking in as hundreds, if not thousands, of people sit at home waiting to be arrested. DDoS attacks, while somewhat useful for sending a message, are becoming widely recognized as the blunted tool of their own eventual demise.

Advice from Assange

“I have a lot of sympathy for journalists who are trying to protect their sources. [ Remaining anonymous is ] very hard now. Unless you’re an electronic-surveillance expert or you have frequent contact with one, you must stay off the Net and mobile phones. You really have to just use the old techniques, paper and whispering in people’s ears. Leave your mobile phones behind. Don’t turn them off, but tell your source to leave electronic devices in their offices. We are now in a situation where countries are recording billions of hours of conversations, and proudly proclaiming that you don’t have to select which telephone call you’re intercepting, because you intercept every telephone call.”

Julian Assange

Are Occupy Wall Street, Antisec, and Anonymous losing relevance?

We haven’t tried much, and it has all failed. Overlapping values, trending #revolution on Twitter, video evidence of wrongdoing – could not rescue our society from the bonds of greed, nor could it free us from tyranny. Peacefully.

In fact, a year later, we are less free. Every privilege we assumed was a right, and every ounce of security we felt buckled under the pressure of a thousand guns turned on 100,000 protesters, peace taken by force, and won’t be returned. Peacefully.

Anonymous could barely turn out a swastiget in Habbo Hotel, forget a fucking legitimate protest. These kids are young, mad, and they just barely know why. Scientology? If you want to protest a dangerous, dehumanizing cult responsible for the embezzlement and conning billions out of innocent people, why don’t you protest “Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, and all the other evangelists who save.” Pick any branch of Christianity and you’ll find a more rampant, systematic con-job operation than Scientologists, in all their scientific wizardry, could invent. Peacefully.cat

Protesting at Wall Street proved, once and for all, that no amount of begging will dry up the greed overabsorbed into the sopping wet hearts of corporate American CEOs, bank presidents and politicians. Protesting the federal government without ten million dollars is like showing up to Wal-Mart without ten dollar bills. If you want something, be ready to spend. That’s Lesson Number One.

Lesson Number Two: In 1976, Buckley v. Valeo decided spending money on campaign contributions is free speech. Did a panel of judges, thoughtful men of experience and wisdom, really not stop to consider, “If spending money is free speech, then isn’t absence of money the absence of speech?” Alas, whether they did or did not dissent is yesterday’s question; now, more than ever, politicos are in the pockets of corporations, financial schemers and worst of all – bankers.

The conditional response to force, is sooner or later, going to be force. I am not condoning violence, but I see us going down that road – once the fragile computer geeks and straight women get out of the way, of course. Then, there’ll be true change. When men own men again, there’ll be revolt.

So what if Occupy Wall Street “opened the dialog” like it didn’t already exist in print. The Occupy movement was misrepresented in television, we all know it was, so stop watching television. They’re the ones you’re protesting, you stupid fucks!

#OWS was a “test run” for what, exactly? Future failures, or the police? Because I look at the police, and they got their exercise, alright. Every precinct near a medium-sized city got to play with a bunch of new toys and spray neat and interesting colors into people’s faces. People who just sat there. On a sidewalk. On phones. Shit, there were so many consumers at this anti-corporate protest, anybody old enough to remember the 70s is hard-pressed to see what is the matter with those rich kids on TV, getting maced and beaten.

#Antisec, trying really hard to attach to our anti-banking, anti-finance sentiments, is making up hacks and reaching for literally anything that makes them look rebellious, even the names of innocent, elderly citizens. No thanks, Sabu, I already have a phone book. Also, I should direct your attention to what I thought was an obvious fact: that you’re doing a valuable free service to the shit-eating 1% out there who couldn’t be hassled to pay experts to ensure the protection of their own customers data.

“Great vulnerability checking! I’ll write the check out to Anonymous.”

-CEO, Bank of Unfairica

The status quo is, in and of itself, cancer. Therefore Antisec is AIDS, Anonymous is cancer, and the Occupy movement will be a time on which we look back and say, “Damn, I should have stood up and hit that motherfucker back.”

[ Editor’s Note: Antisec was barely worth mentioning, and Old Brutus is an asshole for doing so. However their decline signals the disappearance of the last substantial online collective. The Antisec movement, having departed from LulzSec, is no longer funny, and in fact pointlessly contrary to their purported goals of creating instability by attacking networks. ]

The delusions of Anonymous and Occupy Wall Street

The Occupy movement has successfully shifted the public’s attention to the corrupt influence of corporations over American government. At the same time, it has pushed the limits of free speech about as far as local governments will allow. In many cases the protesters have forced confrontations with police, highlighting every egregious use of force with the aid of youtube in a way that is both profoundly important and at the same time incredibly annoying. Each arrest is met with jeers from protesters who apparently don’t understand that being arrested is a part of civil disobedience. It seems they do not believe that their symbolic encampments are, while inspiring, almost always illegal. This kind of thinking is completely removed from reality, but that can apparently be fixed by using the incredibly creepy human microphone to repeat passages from the constitution as each protester is arrested.

A similar kind of activist dissonance is even more egregious and disturbing within the Anonymous subculture, which claims responsibility for organizing the Occupations and the Arab spring. In response to the financial blockade of WikiLeaks, a sickening product of extralegal pressure from government, Anonymous successfully perpetrated a string of high profile denial of service attacks. The comparison between denial of service and the sit-ins of the civil rights era has been made repeatedly by Anonymous and its supporters, but no comparison could be more nauseating. In the bizarre world of AnonOps IRC, the arena where these attacks were coordinated, a pervasive and infectious paranoia was evident in the constant discussions on how to best remain anonymous and completely unaccountable for the “cyberactivism” that was taking place. Not only did these “activists” take every precaution possible to avoid identification, but the laws which were broken are actually in place to ensure the freedom of speech and integrity of the internet. Anonymous may have worked for a noble cause, but the means were more akin to those of the masked Klu Klux Klan than those of civil rights activists. Thankfully, AnonOps no longer coordinates denial of service attacks.

It is worth noting that most Anons are probably not supporters of this kind of wholly destructive action. Anons are generally just young people, enjoying internet culture and not participating in much more than internet memes and occasional trolling raids. As in previous countercultures like the Punks and Hippies, what truly defines Anonymous is opposition to all that is sanitized and corporate and not the actions of whatever small group gains the most notoriety. That’s pretty much true of the Occupiers as well. Both these movements have self-organized, and as each is set in direct opposition to corporations, both naturally mimic corporate structure. It is helpful to think of groups of Occupiers or Anons as franchises acting independently of one another and beholden only to the three ring binder of cultural norms, which if broken will result in revocation of franchise status. This is a rare event, but Presstorm was an ideal example. Presstorm was a group of mostly Anon supporters acting as a media outlet covering issues mostly of interest to Anons. The editor-in-chief published a long editorial sharply criticizing Occupy Wall Street and over night Presstorm was disenfranchised, disavowed, and under denial of service attacks.

Although there does appear to be an informal kind of accountability for extreme cases like Presstorm, this is really where the franchise analogy breaks down. There are no headquarters for Anonymous or Occupy and no central organization to keep out the insane and destructive. In lieu of any unifying authority holding these movements in line and on message, there’s a few powerful labels that are used liberally to fix any inconsistencies. Should someone make outrageous comments, vandalize, or engage in any other deviant behavior, he or she is immediately deemed an infiltrator and associated with whatever enemy is most convenient. While it’s true that agent provocateurs have been used and are still used to discredit popular movements, the hysterical overuse of this point by Occupiers is laughable. With regards to AnonOps IRC and its media front end, AnonNews, one particular publication understood this mechanism and hit the nail on the head.

As it stands, both Anonymous and Occupy have won over supporters, gained media attention, and forced discussion of their issues upon the general public. Both have been fraught with negative press because of the not-so-peaceful nature of their confrontation with authorities, while at the same time highlighting a few major issues of public interest. Non-lethal violence against Occupy protesters is often shocking, as exemplified by the UC Davis pepper spray incident, Scott Olsen, and Tony Bologna. As for Anonymous, sometimes the bad boy hackers actually root out important facts. Private security contractors are using social media to manipulate people in conflict zones, as revealed by the Anonymous attack on HBGary. No one would know about it if it wasn’t for Anonymous. But are these things going to actually make a change for the better? Realistically, both of these movements are playing a zero sum game or worse, winning a few small victories at great expense to their cause.

Anonymous and Occupy aren’t situated on terra firma. In their dogma, the ultimate goal is to eliminate corporate and government structures in society and replace them with the same decentralized organization in which they are situated. In this utopian vision, perhaps legitimate authority will only take the shape of denial of service attacks and infiltrator witch hunts. This particular brand of magical thinking, in which the ongoing peaceful “revolution” will overthrow all existing power structures, is probably a symptom of the young and idealistic who are not yet willing to bend to reality.

The tragedy is that revolution, and not reform, is all that Occupy and Anonymous will accept. Running politicians (But not Michael Moore?) out of the encampments is a fun sport for the Occupiers, and harassing politicians and businessmen with crank phone calls is former Anonymous spokesperson Barrett Brown’s favorite hobby. I don’t think either movement is going to accept the cold reality that reform is the best thing they can hope for. Symbolic tent cities aren’t going to cause a revolution. Denial of service and harassment is worse. The people who want change need to work in a positive way with those in power, but the powerful who have tried to reach out to Occupiers have received only vitriol and hate. Anonymous and the Occupiers have fantasies of a better world, but the scumfucking Tea Party’s plans are already in motion.