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Editorial News Politics Religion Science Society Uncontrollable Patriotism

The Lynch Pin Snapped

The universe is like the sway bar in my car. You just drive over that same stretch of horribly maintained road too many times, and the lynch-pin snaps. The behemoth machines tear trees off their roots and toss them into trucks, and off they go. Ruin my road in the rain, sleet, ice or snow. I have to be honest with you folks out there, I use wood on a prolific scale. Being a woodworker by trade and by hobby it is just what I naturally do. I also have a job at a Barbecue joint and they burn good hickory just for food. So I have a hand in all this logging business, and I’ve even cut down a few trees myself. It’s just not good for the environment. Logging ruins perfectly good dirt roads, and they don’t care until it gets too bad for their trucks. I’ve bottomed out daily for a month, and is it any surprise that my radiator leaks, and the sway bar has snapped off? Just imagine what those animals are going through.

But wait a second. You may be asking yourself “What has this all got to do with the universe?” or perhaps “Is this is going to be a terrible philosophical metaphor?”

Well, there is a lynch-pin that holds the entire universe together like my sway bar, but it is religion, and not the loggers who are fucking it all up. And yes, this is a terrible metaphor, because just like the logging industry, religion would not exist without the support of those they are ruining.

The Cult of the Fire

A squathairy bit of folk discovered fire before any other human ancestor. They were probably the oldest ancestors of the Neanderthals, although it is difficult to tell for sure. Groups began a primitive kind of fire-worship, quite literally believing God was alive within the flames. This was in contrary to Sun worship, which was the predominant belief among Cro-Magnon ancestors. Early Cro-Magnons shunned the use of fire, sun-drying all flesh they did not wish to eat raw. There is evidence of Fire worshippers being killed en masse by spears made Cro-Magnon style, but only up to the exact point at which fire pits are found in Cro-Magnon settlements. Is killing eachother the only way we’ve been able to stop ourselves from becoming god? We were all once the evil cult of the fire.

The Lynch Pin Snapped

God is dead even if you think he lives every day in you. He is getting to be a couple of thousand years old anyway, and is probably good and tired of taking the fall for everything that happens. Perhaps he committed suicide if we’re really made in his image. The fact is that religion has caused too much death, pain, and exploitation for anyone with any sense to still believe. The religious tenets of Christianity do not explain why Christianity has done so much bad. At least Islam says that Allah will sort out the innocents, and I’m sure that’s a comfort to many people. America is so fervently religious we’re simultaneously joyful, hateful, and outraged at what has happened to the world. Gays and women who abort fetuses are the cult of the fire and Christians would have the world rid of them. Just watch Fox News, fair and balanced hatred of weird ideas like Global Warming or oh-so sinister sounding Neo-Darwinism. The Lynch pin snapped at Intelligent design, and this will be the first Cro-Magnon generation to worship fire.

What is Intelligent Design?
What a marvelous question! An intelligent design is something that was designed for a purpose by an entity with intelligence. For example, the bow and arrow was designed so that when
nocked, an arrow can be launched from the tension of the bent bow. Nobody knows how bow and arrows came to be, but a scientist in Intelligent Design theory could tell you that the bow and arrow obviously did not appear out of thin air. There had to be something that came before the bow and arrow, and it couldn’t have possibly been the spear. There must have been a “designer.”

YOU WERE NOT CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD

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Religion Science Special Interest

Fractal Universe

On a quantum and universal scale, one can make an argument for a single observable pattern of force and matter. There are forces that steer galaxies and ones that bind quarks. Matter has shaped itself to form black holes, spirals of billions of stars, and even sentient beings. Our understanding and extrapolation of these forces has led to more questions than it has answers.

The question of existence is also approached philosophically. Like a logical proof, one can use a combination of easily proven truths to arrive at a higher understanding. The nature of this approach is limited entirely to the mind of a human being, and that which is experienced.

Consider this: All human experience is constrained narrowly. Electromagnetic radiation engulfs us. The visible part of the electromagnetic spectrum is tiny. Human eyes are built only to see the light of their own star.

Our experiences have widened completely in the last one-hundred years.
And now it may be wide enough to give birth.

The Large Hadron Collider may be able to re-create and examine conditions approaching the beginning of creation.

If creation becomes a part of human experience, what is the new definition for godliness? If one fully understood the mechanics of the universe, omnipotence and omniscience may be computerized and mechanized.

The universe does not appear to resemble a fractal outwardly. Galaxies and molecules have little similarity. Could life be the way the universe exhibits self-similarity? Our collective existence through time becomes more and more in tune with the actual universe around us, and perhaps a new creation may spring forth from brains, computers, or any combination thereof. This would be the meaning of life, and an event horizon for all life on Earth. Universal reincarnation in the image of its maker.

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Health News Obituaries Religion Science Society World

Satanic Plot Fiendishly Revealed. Humankind Doomed!


Nuclear weapons have been activated world-wide by Lucifer’s commando-demons, and the world is now on the brink of total destruction! As the weapons are aimed for their final, maximum destructive potential the whole of mankind will end sometime tonight, in a hail of nuclear explosions that will “most likely change the entire geography of earth.” There is no word yet on a post-apocalyptic race of mutated apes, the last ray of hope for humankind.

With the coming of Pat Robertson’s apparent death, witnesses report the Devil appeared and massacred more than 3,000 of the now-dead Religious icon’s congregation. He revealed that he had in fact been in control of Pat Robertson for his entire life and was the Anti-Christ. He asserted that Christ was actually celebrity pill-popper Heath Ledger and that there was no chance for Earth. Our analysts indicate that was just the devil’s dark humor, but our polls show 95% of people believe that Heath Ledger actually was Jesus Christ.

His paramilitary remained faithful and have been given the gift of permanent Demonhood in return for their service. Lucifer returned to hell triumphantly, being the final owner of all human souls. The magical winged paramilitary with infinite bullet clips have already killed all major urban centers’ entire population.

People in hiding have already begun resorting to suicide, perhaps out of fear, but most likely because their souls are forever lost and tormented by the dark master of evil. Every body of water has turned to blood, and fresh water is no longer even an option. Indeed the rapture is upon us and Satan has prevailed, but 666 really had nothing to do with it.