Tag: fbi

Categories
Hate Technology

BARRETT BROWN LEADS ANONYMOUS INTO CERTAIN DOOM

BARRETT BROWN, ANONYMOUS GATEKEEPER
BARRETT BROWN, ANONYMOUS GATEKEEPER

YESTERDAY ANONYMOUS REACHED A NEW LOW WHEN THEY FOLLOWED A TRAP, SET BY BARRET BROWN, INTO A DARK UNFORGIVING ABYSS KNOWN AS ANONOPS, WHERE THE FBI AWAIT.

A homophobic Barrett Brown defends the FBI, and bans me from “Anonymous” with a capital A.
For Asshole:

(click here to listen to the phone call) BARRETT BROWN, ANONYMOUS GATEKEEPER, REFUSES TO ALLOW ANONYMOUS INTO ANONYMOUS

anonops, as reported by the chronicle.su via anonnews.org, is teeming with internet cops the likes of which Blade Runner never saw.

anonops is a god damn trap.

Do not go near anonops, because the son-of-a-bitching federalis are there, waiting to trap hapless script kiddies, or even a curious visitor.

They want your IPs, which IRC compromises, as well as port vulnerabilities, whatever they can get their hands on, through any orifice they must. Oops! GOT THE TROJAN.FBI IN MY SHIT NOW I’LL NEVER FEEL CLEAN.

ANONOPS is where good intentions go to die. “Come get us,” you sniveling, wormy parasites say, “We’re just here to do right, bro. chill out. just let it happen.”

ARRESTED
ARRESTED
ARRESTED
ARRESTED
ARRESTED
ARRESTED

 

All because of ANONOPS!! Do NOT go there. It is a fucking FBI trap like you don’t understand. Those people are turning you in by the thousands.

The fear machine follows you as closely as you carry it, and you’re bringin’ it on home, anonybabies. This is me trying to save you.

Barrett Brown has led you directly into an anti-activism honeypot from which the only escape is critical thought itself. Sweet, precious critical thought.

Should you choose to continue deeper into anonops.ru:

The nightmare police who wait for you there want to come into your home, anonymous wants to rape your wife and they will, together, pillage your essence. They want anything and everything they can get their hands on. They want you, so serve yourself up on a silver platter at irc.anonops.ru. join the most populated channel. Congratulations! You’re now suspect and subject to the PATRIOT ACT.

This message brought to you by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
We own everything that matters.
Categories
Law Technology

Big Brother is watching you

"internet meme"Your Town, U.S.A.– ISPs are working out a deal with the FBI to track what you do online and hand it over to them.

The FBI will monitor IPs, domains and websites you visit, and the Bureau is even talking about gaining access to direct URLs if they can successfully bypass the Wiretap Act, which has been proven all but impossible through scientific research conducted by Elf Wax Laboratories.

While no accusations are being made, the FBI stresses that this is primarily targeted at child porn. FBI spokesperson Robert Mueller said, “We’re looking to get as much of it as possible.”

Unfortunately, no significant progress has been made on this yet, but don’t you already feel like someone is watching you?

Categories
Health

SWINE FLU FOUND IN CATS

Springfield, Ill.–A cat has contracted the H1N1 virus, better known as “swine flu.” The local veterinarian said it probably caught it from a human family member.

Dr. Ann Garvey, Iowa Department of Public Health Veterinarian, said cats trade influenza with humans, and this can be expected. But was it?

CAT FLU

According to Elf Wax Health Expert, Dr. Langstrom T. Armstrong, Cat Flu is a dangerous mutation of the Swine Flu that doubles in strength following its rebound off the stout feline immune system.

“The Cat Flu, or Pussy Cold – or Cold Pussy, as we like to call it here at The Times, is not as funny as its name implies,” he said. “Cat Flu symptoms are much more damaging than the H1N1 virus from which it mutated. It begins by attacking the brain’s frontal lobe, compromising one’s sense of loyalty.

“People may turn on each other, become distant, live on the fringes, and develop disloyal instincts. My girlfriend contracted cat flu and that bitch can die one thousand deaths in Hell. If you notice these symptoms in your friends or family, tell a government official right away. They will be quarantined, and if need be, incinerated to ensure the disease can not spread,” Dr. Armstrong advised.

Dr. Armstrong went on to warn that anyone suspected of carrying cat flu should be de-clawed and left in the woods where they are to be abandoned physically, intellectually and emotionally. “The bitch of it,” Dr. Asrmstong said, “Is you gotta disconnect yourself in every way from a person with cat flu so when we incinerate ’em it doesn’t hurt you so bad.”

“Really, incineration is the thing.”

ELF WAX UPDATE:

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA HAS ORDERED THE MASS QUARANTINE OF ANY AND ALL U.S. CITIZENS WHO ARE POTENTIALLY CARRYING THE DISEASE TO BE ROUNDED UP AND PUT INTO CAMPS. IF YOU OR ANYONE YOU KNOW HAS CAT FLU, REPORT THEM TO THE FBI IMMEDIATELY, OR ELSE FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF BEING LABELED A DOMESTIC BIOLOGICAL TERRORIST FOR AIDING IN THE POISONING AND DESTRUCTION OF HOMELAND SECURITY. DO NOT SLEEP, AMERICA.

READ YOUR BIBLE

This just in:

CAT FLU IS RAMPANT. S.O.S. SEND HELP IMMEDIATELY. THE TIMES OFFICE
IS BEING OVERRUN BY ZOMBIE-EYED CAT PEOPLE. ABANDON ALL HOPE.
COLLAPSE IMMINENT. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS.