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Editorial Law Local News Politics Society Status Quo Uncontrollable Patriotism

IGNORANCE FOR PRESIDENT

Two political candidates are fighting to be The One who gets your vote this November (that’s only a figure of speech, your votes aren’t actually counted).Of them, both are liars, and the third?What’s his name, Loser McCain (L), he wants war so nobody’s voting for him.If you don’t understand that, then look around you.We’re more at war with ourselves thanIraq.Iraq?TheIraq War?What a sham.

The whole point of it is to keepAmericain the throes of its State-Issued Nervous Breakdown of 2008, not too dissimilar from its counteraction to the Summer of Love forty years prior, except this time instead of Love there was Fear and nobody in particular is at the wheel of this negative driving force.

Of course, that means for you there is something like one hundred thousand reasons to hide from your own government because technology is being used against us as a means for control.The Feds don’t show up at your house for nothing, no they appear because they’ve been watching your activity.They know what you download and know more about what you upload, so watch yourself.Images, words, video, information, a war on knowledge itself is being waged against not only Americans but humanity and what is forbidden is a regional delicacy, much like snails in France and cats in China.It all tastes bitter, though.

Sometimes all I really want from you fuckers is the ability to piece together a reasoning thought, but you can’t really do that, can you?No, that’s why you voted for Bush the second time around—because you’re an unthinking peon of the servant masses who is so easily swayed by the messages mass media is shoving down your throats that maybe you think it tastes good to act in favor of what the “adults” are doing.Well, I’ve got news for you kids, bad fucking news (but what does that mean? Good news is news too, right? Yeah, get a grip you tool) and it’s about some shit you aren’t willing to understand; think about this election right now.Really think about what the candidates mean to you.What’s the difference in John McCain and Barack Obama, and why aren’t people making more jokes about these losers?Is it because the political machine has managed to elude even the highest form of humor?Is this the Bible Incarnate?Far from it, but it may still yet be a signal of the apocalypse, if you consider the implications of any of these political jokers and compare it to your own basis for reason, which may or may not hinge on the conditional truth of a Sunday Hour Fairy Tale, brought to you by the Southern Baptists and Pedophile Catholics.This just in, you’re a whore.

So what do they mean to us, Galloway?Enlighten your readers.Well, that choice is yours.Wal-Mart or K-Mart?Sheetz or the WaWa?Constriction, or the Illusion of Freedom?Forget the Republican.People are sick of the GOP.If he gets elected, well we can go ahead and prepare for the freezing over of the Old Testament realization of Hell and settle in for a long Nuclear Winter.Buy canned spinach.So now you have a choice between someone who’s going to baldly lie to your face because you expect a little “politicking” from your elected leader (that’s how you know they’re doing their damn jobs), or someone who is going to lead you down a dead-end path of contrived forced progressivism.The choice is yours.Most of you have already voted.My sources are telling me you voted as I knew you would, and for your own sake probably should, so at this point I can only offer my apologies on behalf of the system that has failed us all again.If I had anything to do with it, you can bet your ass I’d write a very loud-mouthed bill that would not even be considered for a legitimate proposal and subsequent vote before the House or Congress – but we all know that as an institution they too have failed us and the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches are so out of whack that the poison is visibly oozing from them – internet porn rings, pedophilia, whorehouses, gay bathhouses – all part of the Washington Routine that you read about every week in the Post.But fuck pretending to be the president for your own crippled speculation. Oh, what the Hell, if I were president, I’d deactivate the nationally accredited police force and let the cannibals, thieves, dope fiends, degenerates, plane hijackers, murderers, rapists, junkies, and local state representatives pick your fucking bones clean because I despise you as a people, as a nation, as a fifty-year-old man sucking on his mother’s tits, because you’re a failure of an overweight Nation and you’re even a failure as a complacent people, and you’re a failure as a society, and you need to be brought down off that fucking high horse you’ve been trouncing around on since you discovered higher levels of consciousness behind the peel-off-and-win Burger King cup.

Getting back to my point:I loathe your existence.Your presence is poison.But here you’ll always be, populating this Fair Country, nodding in agreement to Dr. Phil and Judge Joe Brown, wishing more people were like Oprah, and guffawing at the atrocities CNN occasionally shows taking place in countries like Sudan and North Korea only to forget about it when your chunky butterball wife pulls another burned pot roast out of the oven in hopes that it makes your dick just hard enough to slide into her arid, sticky vagina long enough to deposit your Pepsi-ridden seed before falling flaccid at the sudden awareness of what you truly are in that orgasmic moment of painful, anus-itching realization that life, and indeed control over your life snuck away when you weren’t looking.

But either candidate can and indefinitely will ensure continuance of the aforementioned lifestyle.So go on.Fear and Ignorance is on the ticket. Vote for it.

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Health Law Local Local News Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism

Snitch Ass Cops Bust Marijuana Martyrs

WILMINGTON–Several college students at UNCW were arrested for doing some things that don’t even exist, that is, ‘intent to manufacture marijuana.’ Police Chief Entirely Fictional explained, “They were trying to assemble all these amino acids, cellulose, and water, trying to recreate marijuana from the ground up. Of course, this is entirely impossible and illegal.” He went on to tell reporters at The EWT that they will be slapped across the wrists by public officials, figuratively, and then crucified by community service. The community is busy congratulating itself on how great it is.

Every student who bought marijuana from these kids benefited in mind and body by choosing not to wreck their brain, their memory, their liver, and their entire digestive system with a case of cheap beer. Instead, they took one puff of the good stuff and ate some Flaming Amy’s. Undercover Officer Rick Deckard said “Every time I bust a stoner, I tell myself, ‘they’re just androids,’ but I know they really contain a conscious mind, albeit different from my own.” Of course, since Rick is just a character from Blade Runner, all undercover cops who made a buck off of marijuana are no better than the students involved.

UNCW remains a campus full of mostly-drunken raving morons who are glad to see the harmless punished because of minor disagreements about recreational drug use. The state attorney’s office has issued marijuana possession charges to all people stating an opposing position because that is enough evidence. All such cases are already closed, defendants guilty, and Sheriffs busy collecting the convicts.

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Science Special Interest Technology

Chapter 1: The Mission

   On 12 April, 2025, The former North Atlantic Treaty Organization officialy repurposed their intials to become the current North Atlantic Tactical Organization. This made the organization an independent entity, controlling the entire Western hemisphere’s armed forces. NATO operated under UN order only. Once an attempt at a moderating peace assembly, The UN became more of a meeting grounds for grievances with MexiCanAmerica, at best. MexiCanAmerica’s representation at the UN permits them overwhelming voting and vetoing powers, and most of their actions are forever held up simply because enough western countries always vote with MexiCanAmerica.
   Former American, MexiCanAmerican, and now NATO special forces officer Liutenant Hugh Lombart thought he had seen it all. He was in an invisible unnamed military force of just more than a thousand. The force was comprised of many nationalities from all parts of the western world. Each soldier had received ‘offers’ to join in the mail, and ordered to assemble on Tangier Island in the Chesapeake bay, on the very day NATO changed its name. This was their first assembly.
   Hugh was middle-aged and had indeed seen more than his fair share of the worst scenes the world had to offer, during his long military career. And he knew, more than anyone, that the more power his boss had, the worse his missions would be. But he was really interested if MexiCanAmerica really had become as powerful as he thought.
   Hugh shuffled through the crowd of commandoes to the point where they were each to individually receive instructions, one by one, and through a computer prompt. The order had specified a house on the southernmost peninsula. A narrow strip of sand, only wide enough for 2 men to pass, battered on both sides for 100 yards stood between Hugh and the only computer terminal on Tangier Island. Yet it was full of commandos, fully geared and often just walking to their knees in water to get by. What a ridiculous fucking scene, Hugh thought as he swam his way around it with ease. He stepped on shore expertly at the very front of the line.
   “Hey, mind if I go ahead? My wife is pregnant, I want to go call her,” Hugh said completely unconvincingly.
   “Well, you did just totally submerge yourself in water right before a mission, so I believe you. Go ahead,” the stranger said. “I’m in no hurry.”
  The old Jedi mind trick. As the soldier before him left the small brick, windowless building, Hugh entered with a little more precaution than he usually would have in such a situation. There was one glaring white LED light bulb at the center of the fragile looking roof. On the opposite wall, Hugh saw a bundle of wires coming out of a hole that was maybe too large, and leading up to a flat screen in front of him. He closed the door behind him, per orders. Large letters printed “NATO” clearly and boldly. The Cray company had exploded in the past decade due to the massive restructuring of the Internet. Supercomputers were in huge demand, and Cray was happy to grow. Hugh touched the screen and a prompt told him to insert his International ID Card and provided an arrow pointing to the card slot. He inserted his ID card, and instantly an obviously pleased face appeared.
 “Hello Hugh, you can call me Nate. You will be going on a mission different from all my other soldiers, as I have selected you as the best. It’s the most important one of all, but I am sure if anyone can do it, you can.” the strange wheeling voice said. It wasn’t a totally unidentifiable strain of English Hugh had never heard before.
 “What do you mean if it can be done?” Hugh proposed.
 “Oh it will be done, whether you do it or not, but I know you will follow your orders regardless. You are to go to Washington D.C. and get further orders from the most powerful entity in the world.” Nate replied.
 “Who is that, the president?” exclaimed Hugh, following with a burst of laughter. The face paused for a second.
 “You will find out otherwise. You will be the first to, actually. I placed the address of your destination in the memory on your ID card. You must arrive there sometime within the next week. I have taken all precautions to keep the identities of the members of my service incognito, but I cannot foresee everything.” Indeed he had done well, a nuclear weapon could have gone off on Tangier Island that day, and no one would have ever noticed saved the crowd of soldiers and perhaps the face on the screen. With that, the NATO logo returned, and Hugh left the hut, and Tangier Island. He rather enjoyed walking through the ghost town that was Tangier that night, content to stay on that island and wonder about the strange mystery.
“Am I really the best soldier? What are they going to do with me?” and a fear came over him, for this was likely, from the start, to be the worst mission he’d ever been on.