Internet ChronicleYou hear a whirring sound.
Get Blazed! Denny Blazin’ Hazin’ Average Homeboy recommends Toka-Cola because “IT GETS YOU BLAZED!”
“Now I’m not the typical rapper that you’ll see. I gotta have my toka cola and I want it free. So here I am layin it down, I hope my rapping doesn’t make you frown!”
-Denny Blaze
Secretary of Blazin’
New analysis of Mars rover imagery by the college-educated geniuses at NASA has revealed stunning new proof of life on Mars. The mysterious nature of the creature, as it looks back at the rover with its strange gait and human-like curiosity makes it 100% sure to Nasanauts that it is indeed Bigfoot. Could he be investigating the monuments of Cydonia? This much is true: Bigfoot must be much more clever than we are. The Bigfoot have made it to Mars, and probably have gotten as far as Jupiter, which begs the question: Jupitorians are definitely Bigfoot. Somehow they have overcome all physical limitations through some sort of “Mind Over Matter.” Next time you see Bigfoot disappear behind some trees, do not follow him, or you may end up walking out from a cave on Mars, and hell, if you don’t die instantly from the life-forbidding conditions, Bigfoot may kill you. That would make you the 3rd person to ever have been eaten by Bigfoot. Thank you for visiting Elf Wax, your Marinoia Depot.
Please do not try, all you children, adults, and geezers.
Oh yeah, and noise by elf wax.