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Uncontrollable Patriotism

Restraint! Israel Razes Gaza Death Camp

Good guy Zionist
Good Guy Zionist Taking Care of Business

As the Israeli occupation and subjugation of decadent hedons in Palestine continues, young excited Jewish-Americans lined the streets of every major American city this weekend to show their unwavering support for the Zionist state.

On a day typically reserved for reflections on America’s puritan foundation, fanatical Zionists – per tradition – celebrated our nation’s independence by calling for Palestinian extermination.

“Independence comes in many forms,” Benji Benjamin said, an eight year old Ohio native marching up the streets of Manhattan. “I think the Palestinians, for their own good, might be better off wiped off the map. It will, at the least, free up some space in the budget, which is important to many third graders I know.”

Mr. Benjamin was in New York City on his way to board a flight for his birthright trip, a rite-of-brainwash for most Jewish Americans.

Tensions have never been higher between Israelis and Palestinians as crime within the Holy Land has seen a sharp spike in the last week. In part, this dramatic flux can be contributed to the recent kidnapping of three Israeli youth, the bombing of Palestinian children before that, the Palestinian rocket attack on a local Regional Council before that, an Israeli raid on an aid ship en route to the Gaza Strip before that, Hitler’s Final Solution, the Israelites murdering Moses, and God’s supreme fuck-up by promising land rights to chosen religious groups in the first place.

Angstrom H. Truedaberg, the Chronicle’s resident schlemiel, said, “These folks are expressing their right to exist. Many-a-Mensch took to the streets on this July 4th. I’m proud to be a part of such a peaceful, compassionate movement like Liberal Zionism.”

The United States has historically had nothing but support for the Zionist movement, rightly shunning the legitimate concerns of the residents of the occupied West Bank and Gaza Strip. However, many hard-knocked Zionists view the current administration’s attitudes towards the Jewish State as not supportive enough.

“Sure, Barack ‘Roof-Knock’ Nobama has increased funding to Israel’s military to $3 billion and denied Palestinian statehood, but why does he stay silent on the real issue: the savage barbarianism of the Arab, in general?” a beautiful Aryan editor at a local college newspaper said, speaking on the condition of anonymity so as not to expose her fucking stupidity.

“Is it because he himself is a Moslem?” she asked. “Is it because he was born in Kenya? Which almost borders Iran? Cuba? Hitler? The President must be forced to answer these types of questions.”

At the time of publication, the White House commented, “Look, it’s Ramadan. Give our Pres a minute. Can’t solve ethnic tensions on an empty stomach!”

Categories
Entertainment Law News Politics Reviews Society Status Quo

Adria Richards Not Actually at PyCon; Assumed Psy-Op

Adria Richards Enjoys weev’s Sex Swing

Chronicle.su field correspondents spotted PyCon drama queen and feminist partying down with hackers and felons alike at a loft in Newark, New Jersey Sunday night, when supposedly at PyCon.

Richards, supposedly took out her feminist ire out on a poor python programming man at PyCon last weekend, getting him fired in the process. He had 3 kids, one is now dead.

She has been the subject of extreme scrutiny since the child’s death and some speculate she may have possibly been committed via 5150 to a mental institution. However, after field reports spotted her at Newark, New Jersey doing pot and swinging from swings, little to no truth is known to be truer than the truth itself, which can only be the truth.

A wave of paranoia swept through the Anonymous consortium late Monday night when #TeamSabu was introduced by Aaron Bale who claims is a group of Sabu sympathizers and synthesizers, led by the OWS and Wikileaks activist shm00p of UGNazi and Rustle League fame, who is actually Sabu himself.

#TeamSabu is lead not only by shm00p, but has close ties to Adria Richards, who sold exploit code to Matthew Keys in an effort to gain the good graces of LulzSec so she could eventually land a job at the DailyDot. Little did she know that among a group of thugs, hackers and drunks, people would be snapping photos.

So who was at PyCon and why the drama surrounding Adria Richards? Simply to distract us from #OpBlackout and Aaron Bales efforts to thwart Jen Emick with Ron Brynaert in tow.

No one knows for certain, but after reading some threads on abovetopsecret.com, we believe this is Illuminati related, considering Luke Rudkowski was at weev’s sentencing.

Categories
World новости

Jews did 911? Yes, according to one terrorist

Jews did 911The sensational news article, found on this eyesore of a website, about halfway down said Aafia Siddiqui suggested that “maybe Israel had something to do with it.” It, meaning the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001.

Aafia Siddiqui is a Pakistani neuroscientist who studied at MIT. Later she allegedly decided she might like to engage in sexy terrorism. The article says it all, in just a few words, including words like “She then fired the rifle at various individuals.”

4chan raised the question once, causing it later to be dismissed as the lulz. But Aafia Siddiqui raised it back: Did Jews cause 9/11?

Do not be taken in so quickly. If the Jews did 9/11 then why are we slaughtering brown people? Is it to keep down heating costs like the liberal media would have us believe? Exactly.

I don’t think there’ll ever be a time in my life when I don’t fear the unending wrath of Muslim rage possibly winding up in my children’s schools. No sir, my children will learn that the Jew is our friend. Yea, we’d all be speaking German right now if the Jews hadn’t dragged us into World War II and that Indians shared maize with the pilgrims, who later corrected their population for using the wrong word to identify corn.